Pessimist or Optimist
As you might have guessed by now, optimists have a tendency to be more positive in outlook in their explanatory style. They are people that minimise stressful events as an external force. They learnt to smile as infants maybe? Pessimists have a tendency to see it in the opposite direction, whereby external psychosocial stressors of external forces are a bigger deal than they really are. Explanatory styles can be changed with self-awareness techniques of cognitive reframing and the practice of the thought techniques combined with the improvement skill of the body mentalist attitudes, that I mentioned.
Famous people that did not let the norm stop them from achieving.
These people overcome the odds to become some of today’s must successful people on the planet. They overcame hardships that might crush you. Take courage from them. You can achieve just as they did. Most were either on government benefits, in dead-end jobs. But one thing they did have to empower success was courage and optimism to succeed.
Never give up on your desires to achieve your goals. It is something of a cliché you want when you are building a new positive lifestyle or life improvement of your social and working career. The reason it is seen as a cliché is because you never know when disappointment and frustration will turn over a new leaf and you will gain empowering success. That cliché gives self-motivation to succeed in your goals. Goals start with an idea that needs researching. Have the self-motivation to achieve that goal and start using that idea in a positive aspect of building where the norm of society would give up.
The people I mention in this chapter are now considered as household names, that however did not become achieved easily or overnight. Some were living in cars, suffered family abuses. They all suffered one thing 'rejection after rejection' before their positive attitude to succeed finally paid off. Read on and become inspired to fulfil your own empowerment and goals.
J K Rowling.
J K Rowling has just been through a divorce and was in receivership of government benefits. She could just make ends meet to feed her baby in 1994. All this was 3 years before the emergence of the first Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. When she was trying desperately to get this book published, she was in such a mess with money that she could not even afford a computer or the costs of photocopying the 90000 words novel. She would manually type out each version that she sent to prospective publishers. Having it rejected many, many times she didn't give up. Finally, Bloomsbury, a small publisher in London decided to give it a chance after their CEO's daughter of 8 years old fell in love with the book.
Obviously, an optimist, having put in the hard work of having to retype each manuscript of 90000 words for each application, she did not give up and was able to persevere. Her desperation did not cause her so much stress that she failed.
Tyler Perry had a rough childhood as he was sexually and physically abused. When he was growing up, he got kicked out of his high school. He also, at rock bottom tried twice to take an overdose. The first time was as a preteen and then again at 22.
At the age of 23 he moved to Atlanta, where he took on odd jobs and tried to start a career on the stage.
In 1992 he produced and wrote and also starred in his first theatre production. The production was somewhat informed regarding his traumatic and difficult up-bringing. He invested all his funds in staging this show, but the stage run lasted for just 1 weekend, with only 30 people showing. He has since gone on to become an extremely successful actor, writer and director. Since his rough childhood Tyler has persevered with his desires and never gave up. He was named in 2011 the highest paid man in the entertainment business.
In his early years Perry Tyler can be seen as a pessimist. However, because of his perseverance he managed to overcome this and his childhood to become a top-rated star. Take courage like Perry, he shows you can overcome anything to make a more positive life. The overdoses were obviously due to the physical and sexual abuse, but he did overcome the stress, worry and pain it caused him.
Stephen king was dead broke and struggling when trying to write to success. He was living in a trailer with his wife. He had multiple jobs just to support his family while trying to pursue a writing career. He and his wife were that poor they had to borrow the clothes they wore for their wedding. They could not even afford a telephone.
Stephen received many rejection letters for his writing and developed a system of collecting them. In the book he wrote about publishing ' On writing' he called ' By the time I was 14, the nail that was in my wall would not support the weight of the rejection letters that I had impaled on there'. He replaced that nail with a spike, but did not give up and continued. He received 60 rejection letters before he managed to sell his first story. Eventually Stephen made it big when he signed with Signet Books for the paperback rights of $400,000. Stephen received $200,000 of this fee. He overcame poverty and hardships, but had an attitude that was positive enough to want to succeed.
Obviously, Stephen King can be seen as part optimist, part pessimist. The impaled nail can be seen as a sign that he was caused stress and worry by the rejection, but his optimism finally won through the doubts he must have suffered.
When Jim Carrey was just 14, his father lost his job. His family was forced to live in a VW van on a relative’s lawn. He was so dedicated to succeed even at the age of 10, where he mailed his resume to the Carol Burnett Show. He took an 8-hour day shift in a dead-end factory job after school just to help the family make ends meet.
At the age of 15 years old, Jim Carrey performed a comedy routine onstage for his debut. This was in a suit that his mum made him, but his debut totally bombed. He was never deterred though. In the next year at the young age of 16, he quit schooling so as to focus on his comedy acting full time. Shortly after this he moved to Los Angeles. He would park up every night on Mulholland Drive and visualise making a success of himself. On one particular night he wrote a cheque for $10,000,000 for acting services rendered. He dated this for Thanks Giving day 1995, just before his desires to succeed became a reality with Dumb and Dumber. He put the crumpled cheque in his father’s casket.
Jim Carrey can be seen as an optimist. Having strived right from his early teenage years. Throughout his life he has strived to keep going and achieve results with positivism.
Getting self-motivated when ‘why not?’ questions you.
These stars when faced with the question of ‘why not?’ had the confidence and courage to face the challenges the question posed. Tyler Perry went against the norm of his family aspect of abuse. He overcome where the norm of society would usually fail.
Although he must have been overcome with remorse, guilt and worry he was able to challenge and overcome, where most people would have lost all courage and confidence. The question ‘why not?’ will have been a very negative aspect in his teen and preteen years causing him doubt and worry. However, as his life grew, he obviously grew with confidence as an optimist by overcoming what most people would traditionally see as a no-hoper due to the overdoses. By questioning the disreputable acts of his family, he would have needed the courage and not the usually guilt ridden questions that can ensue people that have been abused.
It is important for you as a person to question all aspects of your life, but not to cause yourself worry about what is considered the norm. ‘Why not?’ can cause most worry and negativity, but it can also be used with optimism if you pluck up the courage and confidence. And that is to challenge the norm of a 9-5 lifestyle of tradition to the average working person. If you can achieve the courage and confidence, decision-making for achieving your goals can become a part of a new lifestyle.
This is self-motivation where you do not let the question cause you to fail. You need to logically discard what is not within your goals, such as thoughts about the moody person in the office. Overcome these thoughts and your confidence can be caused an uplift. By removing unnecessary worry, you can achieve goals that doubt and worry inhibit the achieving of goals in the norm. These stars had the self-motivation to overcome the norm of a 9-5 lifestyle. You might not have the same goals. But hey, I was nothing after my problems, but now I’m a writer living a life I deserve because I overcame the norm, where my social worker considered me as a no-hoper. I remained self-motivated and any thoughts that were negative I pondered on until I came up with the idea. Forgive them, forget them and move on. Pessimism is a killer of self-motivation because it leaves you idle and thoughtful. Thoughtful where no action is physically desired to achieve a goal. Self-motivation is the physical act of getting up and doing the research.
To get the confidence and courage to move on you need to forget the moody person and get self-motivated into a lifestyle that does not encroach you with negative ideals for achieving your goals. Ideals where you and your thoughts are centred on decision-making to have a more positive aspect. It is a positive thoughtfulness of having the courage to overcome self-doubt of ‘why not?’. When you are in a state of ‘why not?’ remember the questions that I have asked you to discuss with yourself. They are questions designed to give you self-motivation within your thoughtful decision-making.
Self-motivation gives you drive to achieve, much like these stars. When life gave them doubt, they did not give up on their goals. They had the determination and self-belief to go after their goals with self-motivation of getting physical. The norm would have given up, do not be part of the norm of society and when you find your goal, self-motivate yourself with thoughtful positivism. Then get yourself physically motivated. A writing and acting career is not an easily achieved thing, but these stars and I stayed motivated. We did not give up on our goals to achieve.
I did my research and kept going until I achieved what I wanted. Research is a key that builds a passion and self-motivation. The more research you do the more you build self-motivation to achieve in your goal physically and thoughtfully. The norm will research, but will not have a passion to achieve their goals.
When the question of ‘why not?’ arrives, do not start questioning your goals with negative thoughts as is the norm, do something about it with research instead. Occupy your self-motivation with your goal about ideas from the research when you are thoughtful. Then when you have the time over the 9-5, put in the extra time needed. That is the desire to become self-motivated in your building of your goals and ideas.
Have your life lessons made you an optimist or pessimist?
So, are you an optimist or are you a pessimist? Maybe you see yourself as being a bit of both. However, you see yourself, there can just be no denying that your attitude and character are how we perceive events, people and circumstances involved in our lives. This is what significantly influences the outcome of how we treat those circumstances that we experience.
So, let us say that we brought a lottery tickets and four numbers came up winning you £50, but you lost it.
What you might do if you were pessimistic.
If you are chiefly pessimistic you would in all probability have a half-hearted search for it and give up. It might be because as far as you are concerned it has gone and so you sit down and wallow in deep dark thoughts about it. Or even worse still, your thoughts become that of: someone else has found it and are enjoying your winnings! As a pessimist your actions are to sit and wallow instead of having motivation. Instead you sit thinking and complaining all about it. This thought process would only serve to make you feel miserable afterwards for days to come. Days where you whine at everyone about the loss. As a pessimistic thinker, you dwell on things in the decision-making processes as a way of dealing with things. That decision-making is the prefrontal cortex.
What an optimist might do.
If you are primarily an optimist you will cause, an effect in thinking that alleviates the thought process in your decision-making. You would be this by convincing yourself that the lottery ticket had been misplaced and that it will be found. You might search for it for days on end, but it will be when you have the time free. As an optimist you would be able to shrug it off and as such would believe that it was simply meant to be that way. The key-factor is shrugging it off. By shrugging the shoulders, as an optimist sitting with the shoulders hunched over the loss is giving an I don't care attitude. This achieved by tilting the head in hunched shoulders.
In the pessimist plasticity sees the hunching of the shoulders as an intensive stressor that causes thought of sitting and deeply wallowing.
In the rest of this section we will discuss the differences in attitude that is an optimist and a pessimist views in dealing with a major cashflow, career and relationship setback.
Firstly, the best friend tells you that your lifelong partner is cheating on you with someone. The next day, you receive a letter in the post for a major road traffic infringement, where you were caught on camera. To make things worse you go to work and yesterday's misunderstanding suddenly gets you sacked making you now jobless! It's only Tuesday, so the week could not get any worse, correct? Well, as you can see you are now a jobless and lonely feeling soul. Who has a confidence and attitude in character would not be affected?
These of course, are all what seem unfortunate occurrences that will pull you from your regular routines. Then it would push you out of your comfort zone. It is however said, that it is not what actually happens to us that truly matters, but more so, it is what it all comes down to in the attitude we bring to each event and situation. Also, and what is more, nothing really has real meaning other than the meaning we assign to it.
It is all in the initial hormone release and the way we think about the issues soon afterwards. It also relates to how we communicate these setbacks in the body and verbally. If your body/brain barrier is prone, then the hormone release will cause the enactment of continued doubt, worry and upset. In other use of words, the situation is only as bad as your hormone release and body mentalist attitude makes it.
If you were left alone with few friends and had no one to talk to and you are prone to worry and doubt your thoughts would become affected by the events, rather than your verbal communication affecting your worrying situation. Put another way, all situations are neutral after the initial shock to begin with. Even an optimist would find themselves seeing the situation as either a negative or positive experience. It is what you learn to use in your character of plasticity however, that will get you through these worrying, doubt and shocking moments.
Now what we will discuss is the two views of how a pessimist and an optimist will react to these unfortunate setbacks.
How the pessimist sees the world after these 3 setbacks.
If you are a pessimist you will instantly see each setback by thinking the worst. With each of the situations only reinforcing the attitude of your hormone release. After all you have just found out about your partner, which is bad enough and you will find in your pessimistic thoughts, they will be constant, about the past and how could your partner have done that. Secondly, today you have lost your job and thoughts of the bills and mortgage dwell. This only causes the doubting thoughts about your partner to be interspersed with thoughts of worry about finding the money to pay the bills. Your thought skip!
These events will obviously weigh on your shoulders from the initial reactions of your shoulders tensing. Here you have had a heavy burden placed on your shoulders.
You would be feeling as though the entire world had just fallen onto the top of your head by feelings that are being carried around your body/brain barrier of plasticity. In other words, stressors of the body and brain barrier will be awash in your blood. This is where tragedy starts to form electro-chemicals to be stored in the body as life lessons of plasticity that your brain then corresponds with in neuroplasticity. In these early stages, as a pessimist you would be feeling incredibly helpless in your present attitude. Then the questions start:
This could only happen to me, why?
Why am I always the victim?
Questions like these would be the instigation that, if you realise, can be how cognitive reframing would allow these questions, that would go on inside to be challenged. In plasticity these questions would be replaced with the illogic of why it happened, why it was you and reasons about yourself as to why you are the victim. In time you may forget the issues by getting a new partner and job, but the biological chemistry of plasticity has become a continued bonding that makes you the pessimist.
Your pessimism in nature is not allowing you to see and think things rationally because of the unfortunate events. This is the result of your unhelping thankful patterns you are adopting again in a new cycle of pessimistic life lessons. These work as a tandem with your existing belief systems of plasticity.
In this plasticity cycle you will find that your thoughts cannot settle with the new set of life lessons. As such, your thoughts are constantly making you blow things all out of proportion. Your thoughts are not supported by evidence to cause justification of what you are thinking as conclusions. You are in the throughs of a pessimistic attack. This is your plasticity forming new bonds of bodily hormones as stressors on the brain's neuroplasticity. This is the cycle you have and at the moment you are essentially exaggerating every experience and so this is making your life seem far worse than they usually are in your thoughtful decision-making.
These problems are not helped by the fact that you are failing yourself by not considering an alternate perspective and scenario. Because of the exaggeration and your confusion things might not be truly as you see them, but you have however, shut yourself off completely from any other possibility. And in this way, you do not blame yourself, but everything around you is just an annoyance. This is your pessimistic emotions dealing with the break up and the negative expectations are just spiralling you down into a deep and dark world where you cannot concentrate because of negative thoughts about everything.
Without the support of your lifelong partner and no longer having a job you will not be able to pay the bills or mortgage. Thoughts start to erupt from the questions about losing your home as well.
All this would seem to be quite awful sounding to an optimist. As a pessimist in thought, you gain comfort from external emotions. External emotions of losing your home when the bank is not paid. These only spiral round and round until you are at least proven right again, with distraction about fond memories of your partner. As a pessimist you are not lazy and so you will get another job is you beating the pessimist doubtfulness. Either way you eventually win, but because of plasticity your thoughts are naturally negative.
As a pessimist you wish for better days to come. You wish things were different and inside you feel desperation and the thoughts change as the hormones flow round the 'fight' circuit to settle yourself as 'Things will be alright, won't they?!' Pessimistic thought return and you consider that failure will only get worse as you think 'Why me?' 'What can go wrong now you think, surely my luck cannot get any worse?' 'I'll either get lucky or I won't'. These are the negative thoughts that a pessimist revolves within.
You think about the way things will turn out and think your luck will change, but you have doubts in your emotions and regret settles in about your partner. You regret the past, but the memories bring emotions that briefly bring a smile that is uncertain.
You certainly do not like the way things have turned out, but think your luck will hold. You most certainly want to find a way out of this situation, but thoughts start as usual in negativity modes of:
I can't do this simply because
This will never work out because
Things will not get better because
As a pessimist you are reluctant to take risks. You are not prepared to do anything risky to change things that might cause your luck to change. Like ring that job that you think is above you, even though you are qualified. You decide to carry on thinking to look for the job position that is below your qualifications. Something that will not upset your daily routine. You are uncertain and think that the pressure of something higher will only add to your problems. 'It is not my luck to get the job that is higher anyway, I know that is right'.
By now I’m sure you can see how a pessimist thinks. Is this you?
In these circumstances that befall you it is your attitude of internal physical feelings of hormones that rule your emotional negative brain thoughts. Life lessons are full of experience similar to this. But this negativity is holding you back. It is stopping you from moving forward, if you have pessimistic thoughts, that are negative in their inclinations.
An optimist’s view of the world.
An optimist understands that the world is not a perfect place to be. They realise the life is not perfect and can live with it, without the desire to reflect that in thought. They are not deluded with thoughts of their world through rose colour glasses. They have an understanding that no matter what, that nothing is always going to go according to plan and can live with that fact. They unconsciously accept that unexpected situations and events can lead to setbacks. Because of this their world does not revolve around negative thoughts about their lives and others lives. Some do, but that is a person that lives both sets of characterisation. An optimist lives a life that is always knowing of the fact that it is going to be uncertain and challenging and that sacrifices will be made throughout their life.
The optimist is usually emotional strong and their body attitude reflects that. They also have a lot of self-belief. They have feelings that are patient, resilient, enthusiastic and show themselves as psychosocially competent when facing conditions that are adverse. Their personal view of life and others is one that displays gratitude, rather than one that is thoughtful of blame, worry and doubt.
An optimist can accept that difficulty is inevitable in their life. If an issue of difficulties presents itself, they realise without negative thoughts that they are only a temporary feature and can shrug off thoughts instead of the hormones causing the body physical stress.
This in turn keeps the body/brain barrier free of thoughtful negative stressors. So, this causes them to see the world with an open mind where they feel and react with body mentalist notions, rather than thinking. Put another way, they can hope for the best without negative worrying thoughts because their hormone of cortisol is balanced with confident decision-making.
This confidence keeps negative thoughts of fearing the worst all the time as an unnecessary feature in their life lessons of plasticity.
When the issue of the unexpected problem of the traffic infringement arrives, it is easily shrugged off and put down to just being an unfortunate event. However, the day before they heard of their lifelong partner. The two issues do not cause plasticity to concern the two issues together. This separation allows the hormones to concentrate on getting over the loss of the partner, where they can choose to just take things within their stride. True their emotions might hurt, but the hurt is not thoughtful like the pessimists. It revolves around 'why did they do it?' and does not revolve around 'why did it have to happen to me?'
They do not have to jump to conclusions regarding how things are going to be and why it happened to them. They learn to live with it and get on with their life, instead of sitting in the chair and dwelling deep and darkly in negative thoughts.
Their first act of thought is to find true reasons where they can accept responsibility for what has happened.
Remember the partner cheating? Well the hurt will be directed at them and will not be about trying to gain happiness with happy memories of the past with them. That will come later once the emotions of thought have stabilised the feeling given to the physical body by the hormones and neuroplasticity. By doing all this, allows them to put their life lessons in order by giving rational thought processes, that figure out each step in the thought process one step at a time. This rational thinking allows the hormones that may be unbalanced and chaotic in the pessimist to come to terms with the feelings they are giving to the emotions. The optimist puts themselves in the driving seat of rational healing processes of present time to take one thing at a time. From this place, they only have emotional felling of a hurtful attitude where there is no negative of thoughts complaining about themselves. This can be seen by the pessimist’s thought of:
This could only happen to me. Why?
Instead the optimist’s thought would only be;
What made my partner cheat!
Thoughts may dwell on this subject, but as you can see it has a logic of positivism towards the self. However, they would quickly be resolved. This is because it would not be found with an answer, without speaking to the partner physically about it. There is a quiet in the emotion that unconsciously feels:
I am in some way responsible for some of this, but I need time to gather my thoughts of what is not my problem.
When they do finally think about it, it revolves around the facts. They will turn their attention to each subject, one at a time. With each situation an optimist's thoughtful mind will simply see the problems as things that need to be solved. So, saying, instead of complaining with 'why me?' or blaming everything in frustration, the optimist simply works out what happened without the need to jump to negative conclusive answers that form more negative, doubtful thoughts.
With the problem of the traffic infringement, they will totally accept it with no negative thoughts. However, they have a problem and that is the loss of the job. They now cannot afford to pay the fine in full. The difference however is that they do not get themselves straight to the point of not sitting thinking it through negatively, so as hormones build. Instead they get motivated and make a call that then causes the fine to be allowed payments in affordable payments. In the pessimist, time is spent in negative thoughts sealing the hormones into a negative plasticity. The optimist uses the motivation circuit. And that is rather than the doubt/fear circuit of the amygdala. After that the decision-making process of the prefrontal cortex can be naturally and logically relieved in any thought process. This then keeps the optimist in a positive plasticity attitude, that helps heal the overall setbacks.
One factor an optimist has over a pessimist is the they do not take things personally. In this way setbacks can be eventually laughed or smiled at. In the smile at the infringement agreement the other problems will form a plasticity of heuristic. This allows them a relief in advance of the overall bad days they have had. In fact, at every stage within the difficulties, they will actively use the heuristic technique. They will group the last couple of days problems to use the smile to release a heuristic technique to form positive hormones over all the events. This of course leads to the loss of the job.
Here is where money is the key issue. But that has already been partially alleviated in the hormones and neuroplasticity by positive actions of making a call. Whereas the pessimist sat dwelling in thoughts, building hormones, the optimist does not have this negativity in their body/brain barrier. In other words, the optimist has used motivation, rather than thought, to keep the setbacks from building hormones in the body/brain barrier.
Losing their job does not for that reason mean the end of the world. To them it will be seen as looking for a new beginning by picking up more loose ends in a bad couple of days. When thoughts occur, they will think positively of passion’s they have in the work area. They will think in plasticity of a job they truly desire. If it is truly beyond them, it will still bring a smile and relieve the stress that is hanging on their shoulders. This is how the optimist keeps a smile on his face that the loss of the job is nothing more than a bad luck event.
They will spend time in self-reflection as to where they went wrong. That however will help them to figure out the logic and cause them to figure out the next step. Thoughts will revolve and not having to put up seeing the moody person anymore. They will form a body/brain barrier of emotion, that will cause a new job seem like it was a blessing in disguise.
Unlike the pessimist, the optimist will be willing to attempt a new job just to tie things over. The pessimist will see this as a result that they only deserve a dead-end job. The optimist sees the opportunity to keep cashflow and will use the time to reflect and learn from the mistakes that got them there. They will make adjustment in hormones that may have formed from the setbacks. And because the dead-end job is helping with the bills and keeping the mind active, instead of thinking about the break-up with their partner.
In fact, it can be seen how the optimist uses new things as a learning and stabilising experience that keeps them moving forward in a positive body/brain barrier of hormonal emotions and feelings of being mindful. This of course keeps bad feeling away about the break-up. Before the dead-end job thoughts will have revolved, but continue in the healing with:
How else could I have done this?
What can I learn from the experience of my partner?
Why don't I give it another go with someone else?
What opportunities do I have?
For the optimist positive possibilities rule their thoughts. Negativity is thought, but brushed aside easily with cognitive reframing. Even when an opportunity does not arrive quickly, they will still see the best of what they have in all situations. They will make the most of the new situations that have developed and by thankful the bills are still manageable.
As the days and weeks pass by the partner becomes a dull emotion, that sometimes linger with smiles at only the good times.
What the Pessimist should start doing to stop the scowl!
By using those initial thoughts to the events of the questions below and challenging the thoughts, can form a challenge of cognitive reforming, even the technique of mindfulness.
Why did this happen?
What will happen now?
Why am I always.....?
Use these four questions, if you have pessimistic thoughts that revolve around a negative thoughtful pattern. After a pessimistic thought, start by repeating 1 of the 4 different types of question. At that point you can start to challenge the pessimistic thoughts. This will be by cognitive reframing negotiation of using negative questions to start new positive thoughts of your good points and actions about yourself.
This is the way to practise reframing, to change your life lessons of neuroplasticity and hormones. It is the way to challenge pessimism and make yourself more emotionally stronger in your psychosocial character.
If these events happen to you, as a pessimist you will slowly, but surely start to become frustrated, if you do not do something about your negativity. You may even become disgusted with yourself and your life. As a result of this and the events that have now passed into your plasticity of life lessons, it only forms a continuance of your pessimism. As it continues, the tragedy you have suffered, causes you to start to blame everyone for your predicament.
You have now started to be that moody person in your new office job that carries a scowl on their face as well!
As a pessimist you are a victim of circumstances who is powerless to change a thing. That is, unless you start by using cognitive reframing to change your plasticity of pessimism with all the techniques in this webpage. Later I will discuss techniques of mindfulness as well.